Tuesday, June 20, 2006

A Holiday of Errors

Here's something this particular friend of mine would have written in his blog, if he had had one.

Based on a true story.
Hi, I'm Jayee. I mean Joy. Without the ee. Because with the ee it'd seem I were a girl. Which I am not.

Anyway, I'm having an awesome holiday, and I'm gonna tell you all about it, whether you want to hear it or not. It began with news that a certain Mr. V celebrated the start of his holiday by auspiciously breaking - no, not a coconut, but two bones in his hand. Yes, he was checking if it was raining outside the train.

This single event brought meaning and direction into Mr. V's life; he has now adopted, as his mission in life, the task of revising and improving the Indian Railways field manual for trackside pole placement. Single handedly. (That being his left hand for now.)

I recieved this news with mixed feelings; for, although the misfortune befell an arch rival of mine, the rivalry between us was mostly about who can do the most stupid things. Did this mean that he had pulled ahead of me in the stupid-things-to-do summer championships? I could not let that happen; I steadfastly resolved to outdo Mr. V's two-boned act before the holiday was over.

My first attempt was unsuccessful; I went to the beach without telling anyone but the coastguard wouldn't let me drown. Disheartened, I returned vowing to do better next time. Another attempt at aggravating my chronic ankle pain with spirited (but none-too-skillful) cricket was moderately successful; but nobody took too much notice and I had to do much better to - well - better the likes of Mr. V.

Taking a deviation from mishaps medical, I made plans for a long journey to see more beaches; Eager to exploit every opportunity, I neglected to book tickets for about half the journey. Soon, I found myself getting on the wrong train which took me sixty kilometres past my destination - and I ended up sleeping in the railway station. At last - a decent goof-up!

Little did observers know that I was only getting started. Soon after my trip, another game of cricket saw me equalling, if not exceeding, Mr. V's score. The ball was hit straight towards me - I executed a doggy-catch-ball-with-mouth manouvre to perfection. Near-perfection, actually, but perfect for my purposes; I saved a six with my left eye. Of course, bleeding in the vitreous chamber meant I had also gone blind in that eye. No pain, no gain.

Then, of course, came the coup de grace. I decided to take driving lessons - my tutors insisted on using a parking lot, but I think I could've done better on a real street. After pretending to listen for ten minutes to all that banter about where the brakes were and the need to press the accelerator gently, I set off. I surprised my tutors with great acceleration... of course, I couldn't be bothered with trivial matters like steering or parked cars.

The white ambassador was dragged some five feet from where it stood. It's hood popped open, bumper buckled inward, and the entire car is probably a few inches shorter now. The mob was satisfyingly large. Touche.

Howwzat, Mr. V?

17 Comments:

Blogger Anirudh said...

lol. Real cute story, bollywood material. So how's Mr.V's endavour coming along, (cliched i know, but i have to say it) and is anyone giving him a hand?

20 June, 2006 09:44  
Anonymous Mr. V said...

Hey, u have still not equalled me yaar... i think u need to do much better to come up to the likes of me :P

Not only did i break my hand, but also i was with that broken hand in the train for two days and then at the railway station for one night... :))

And if that was not enogh, i went on a tour to the hills for 15 days where I almost fell into a river(with my broken hand) and got skid from a hilly road.

And to finally end the trip with a bang(hopefully!!!), tearing my jeans at u-know-where, I fell off climbing a small hill while demonstrating how easy it is to climb a hill with a small stream flowing out of it to one of my friends....

Agreed that our friend tried well to surpass me by sleeping at the railway station at one night and by bumping the car some other day... But u see, u'll have to do all this at once...

All the best for the next time... u still have 1 week or else there's always a next time ( by listening to what all u have done, i am sure there will have to be a next summer.. :p)

23 June, 2006 08:04  
Anonymous joy, nee jayee said...

oh. so you have been busy too.

but you are so mistaken; my bleeding eye sooo beats your broken arm; each examination (i had one today) lasts three hours with some five doctors poking little blue sticks in my eye... they say i have a glaucoma (build-up of pressure inside); they say i will need to take these really acrid eye drops daily, for YEARS. and get regular poke-in-the-eye exams.

and arvin's spongy brain didn't even recollect half of my exploits! i went more than a hundred kilometres past my destination, not 60. he didn't say anything about how my thumb got stuck in the 5 mm gap in the car door (it still hurts). and nearly falling into the river doesn't count. my own river-related *nearly* incident also had running over slime covered rocks. so there!

24 June, 2006 06:18  
Blogger pinyana said...

fight back and don't let the championship 'cracks & breaks 2006' go from ur hands. fight untill u've got limbs on ur body. Tip:Try football too, in case u need better results.

24 June, 2006 06:55  
Blogger Sunny said...

Dude! U did ALL this?

27 June, 2006 09:17  
Blogger arvin said...

@sunny:

Ahem.

>Here's something this particular friend of mine would have written in his blog, if he had had one.
>
>Based on a true story.
>
He nearly said, and i quote, "Hi, I'm Jayee. I mean Joy. Without the ee. Because with the ee it'd seem I were a girl. Which I am not."

27 June, 2006 12:45  
Blogger GolP said...

nice post !! :)

29 June, 2006 11:51  
Blogger VanishingNerd said...

Awesome effing awesome. Damn I was stuck getting Carpal Tunnel Syndrome while you guys had all the fun. Shit! Crap! Hell!!

02 July, 2006 04:40  
Blogger Psycho McCrazy said...

holy Frick, what kinda friends do u have ari and vani???

makes me wanna retire my name :P

04 July, 2006 06:25  
Blogger Vijeta said...

what was it??? I never read the combo of Mr.V and Joy or JOyee..kool enuf.

R u the same Arvin,who was the Moderator??

20 September, 2006 23:41  
Anonymous Gaurav Shukla said...

Please consider featuring http://deesha.wordpress.com/ in your next issue of ScholsAve.

03 January, 2007 23:10  
Blogger Biby Cletus said...

Nice post, its a really cool blog that you have here, keep up the good work, will be back.

Warm Regards

Biby Cletus - Blog

22 April, 2007 23:48  
Blogger Akshat Kaul said...

This is one of the most interesting blogs I have come accross.

Your posts are both interesting and entertaining.

Its a pity you have stopped blogging.

19 October, 2007 11:50  
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